


The "I Do" Conspiracy

by sidewinder



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Weddings, and other characters to be revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 01:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13179624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder
Summary: Fin has finally convinced John it's time they tie the knot. But is something foul afoot in the Clerk's Office when they arrive to say "I Do"?





	The "I Do" Conspiracy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThetaSigma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Unforgettable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879936) by [sidewinder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder). 



> Happy holidays, ThetaSigma!
> 
> This _was_ going to be an extra treat for you for the SVU Ship Swap, but a) I couldn't manage to finish it on time and b) since it references another story of mine, it didn't really fit an anonymous challenge anyway. I hope you enjoy it!

It had taken Fin years to convince John to go through this, one more time.

Getting married, of course.

The one thing John had sworn he’d never do again in his lifetime.

But once Fin _had_ at last managed to convince him, that after all this time it was merely a formality they should go through with for the legal protections provided if nothing else, it had taken still longer for John to run out of excuses as to why they couldn’t do it as soon as possible.

First John blamed work. He needed time to adjust to his new schedule at the DA’s office, he claimed, before contemplating any other serious life changes. Never mind that his current position was far less stressful and time-consuming than his old one at SVU—which was the entire reason he’d taken early retirement in the first place. Never mind that he and Fin had been living together for years and all their friends considered them an “old married couple” already, for all intents and purposes.

It was the principle of the matter, John always maintained. He didn’t think they needed a piece of paper to prove their devotion when it was there in how they lived their lives daily. Not when they both wore their “Love” etched on their skin (matching tattoos, inked years before—John’s proudly and openly on the wrist, Fin’s equally proud yet more privately on his chest, for John’s eyes only.)

Then it was getting the time off from work so they could enjoy a proper vacation afterwards, even though Fin had leave piled up in abundance. Arguing over _where_ to go hadn’t helped move things along, either. (John wanted Paris, or Rome. Somewhere full of history and culture. Fin wanted Hawaii or the Caribbean, where they could relax and soak up the sunshine. They had compromised on London, which John had found an easy sell on Fin once he showed him information on several Oscar Wilde and Sherlock Holmes walking tours and special destinations they could visit.)

Paperwork was John’s next claimed hurdle. It took time digging up all the documentation on his previous marriages to prove he was legally divorced—four times over. Some “misplaced” papers from marriage number four and the endless divorce negotiations with Billie Lou had taken forever to sort out and locate amidst John’s boxes, those still packed and sealed since he and Fin had moved in together.

At least Fin hadn’t let John toss those boxes out like he’d wanted to when they were moving.

Eventually, though, all excuses had been exhausted, Fin’s temper had grown thin, and John had needed to agree upon a date to wed his long-suffering partner before being permanently banished from their home.

“You sure know how to make a guy feel wanted,” Fin grumbled that fateful morning, fixing his tie in the bathroom mirror.

“And for what feels like and is at least the hundredth time, you _know_ that’s not the case,” John told him. “I simply have moral and ethical objections to the entire institution of marriage, rooted as it is throughout history in political and financial transactions and not the more modern concept of ‘love’.”

“Bull. _Shit_. If you believed that you wouldn’t have gotten married four times already. Admit it, you’re gun-shy now.”

“Damn straight I am.”

“You’re as straight as a circle.”

“Maybe. But can you blame me for not wanting to fuck up what we’ve got after all these years?”

Fin rolled his eyes and sighed, then took John by the shoulders and gave him a reassuring kiss. “Babe, if _that_ hasn’t happened by now, I seriously doubt a ring and saying ‘I do’ is gonna manage it.”

And so it was, at last, that John found himself waiting in an endless line at the Clerk’s Office one chilly Friday afternoon in late December. They had the rest of the year off and had their bags packed already for the flight to Heathrow tomorrow evening.

“Okay, give me a smile,” Alejandro said, coaxing them to pose for his camera phone. They’d needed a witness and John had preferred it not be someone from work, but an off-the-job friend. Alejandro had agreed with easy enthusiasm.

John put on his best smile, and it was no act. Now that he was here and resolved to his fate he wasn’t so anxious. And he _was_ looking forward to their upcoming trip, if nothing else.

If only he could shake this odd feeling, though, that something was amiss. Not quite right. Fin was a quiet man by default, but today he seemed unusually so. There was no near constant messaging from Rollins, for instance, and John would’ve expected she’d be all over them—unless she was sulking over not being invited to the wedding. He’d expected Ken to show up unexpectedly with Alejandro, wanting to be there for his father’s ceremony like John and Fin had been there for his own. But apparently Ken was respecting John’s request that they keep this a quiet, and private, no-fuss affair.

Nothing but a legal matter.

Maybe John was feeling off because a foolish touch of sentimentality was suddenly making him wish otherwise.

_Why shouldn’t we share this day with the rest of our friends and family? With those who would have come out and been happy for us?_

But no, he’d had every other type of wedding imaginable before, from the elaborately planned to the run-off-and-elope momentary lapse of reason. Keeping it simple, logically planned and unemotional, he had thought, would be for the best.

“You’re quiet,” Fin said, as they shuffled up one more position in line. A young couple came out of the office all smiles, cheered on by their attending friends and family—and a few strangers in line as well.

“I was thinking the same about you,” John replied. Fin snorted, and John frowned. “What’s funny?” he asked.

“Nothin’. You. Actin’ like we’re waiting for a sentencing, and not a wedding.”

“As if they aren’t one in the same. Ouch!” John yelped as Fin elbowed him hard in the ribs.

Alejandro took another picture while they were both off-guard. “ _That’s_ the kind of candid shot I’ve been waiting to capture,” he said, beaming.

John sighed and checked his watch. With the way the line had been moving, they’d be waiting another hour before getting their turn with the clerk. He supposed he should spend that time contemplating the last moments of his single life—for if he hadn’t planned to get married again, he sure as Hell wasn’t going to go through another divorce.

* * *

“What on Earth is the hold up now?” John wondered aloud to his companions. The line had moved at steady pace until they were the next couple to be called forward, but they’d been sitting here for at least another twenty minutes waiting. The other couples behind them in line were growing a little impatient as well. “At this rate we might not get called in before the office closes for the day.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Fin told him.

“It’s not that,” John insisted. At this point he wanted to get things over and done with as they’d spent most of the day in this stupid line. “I’m only worried there might be a real problem.”

“If you fucked something up in the paperwork I’m gonna punch you in the head.”

“If I messed something up in the paperwork we wouldn’t have gotten the License already,” John pointed out. “Still, something could’ve been flagged since then. You never know. I do have my past as a radical forever looming in the background, and we’re living in dangerous times…”

Fin looked about ready to punch him no matter what when a man in a suit, wearing a security badge, came over to them. “Excuse me, Sergeants Tutuola and Munch?”

“That’s correct,” John said, “though it’s former Sergeant Munch now.” He did appreciate it when people recognized and remembered Fin’s newly acquired rank, however.

“I’m going to have to ask that you both come with me. And your companion here as well, Mr. Pavel.”

“May I ask _why?”_ John demanded.

“Everything will be clear to you shortly, sir. But I must insist you do as I ask.”

“Great. Just great.” John sighed and debated, for a moment, if he should refuse to move and start some kind of protest. But Fin was saying nothing; in fact he was already on his feet and so was Alejandro. “Sheep. I’m forever surrounded by sheep who refuse to question authority—not even when it interrupts this wedding you’ve been so keen on for so long. Fin, I’m disappointed in you, I truly am.”

“Would you keep it down before you get us all arrested?” Fin hissed at him.

“Fine. Fine. And how do you know we’re not being led off to be put in custody now? I almost smell a conspiracy afoot.”

“All I smell are the onions I told you to leave off the hot dogs we got from the cart outside. Didn’t want to get married with onion breath.”

“If we’re even going to get married now…” John pronounced with gloom. Yet he fell in step behind the security officer, Fin and Alejandro, waving a solemn goodbye to the nice couple from Staten Island who had been waiting behind them all day. “Good luck!” he called to them. “And may you not end up needing it!”

* * *

They walked along together—Fin still silent, John brooding over his fate and running through theories in his mind, Alejandro flipping through the photos on his phone. They walked until John looked up and said, “Wait a minute, what are we doing here?” For they had stopped in front of Judge Donnelly’s chambers.

“One moment, please,” the officer said, then knocked on her door.

“Come on in,” was the muffled yet recognizable reply.

“Please, after you,” the officer indicated, opening the door.

And John was getting an idea of what was happening now, before it was all revealed before them.

 ** _“Surprise!!!”_** came the rowdy cry as John and Fin stepped in the chambers together. A cry from so many people, as many as could fit in the not all that spacious private office. Amanda, Sonny and Olivia were there from the 16th, along with Melinda and her husband, Kyle. Barba was there, too, with his mother, who looked excited to be at _anyone’s_ wedding. Ken was there, and so was Dr. Huang and his husband Ryan.

“Congratulations, John,” came another voice, as a woman in a wheelchair came over, tugging at his hand to get his attention.

“Amy, what are you—” he started, then looked around at all the happy, smug faces surrounding them. No one looked as smug as Fin, though. “ _You_ planned this, didn’t you?” John accused him.

“Of course. Consider it payback for when you played dumb on my fiftieth birthday and then had a big surprise party waitin’ in an interview room.”

“But that was _years_ ago.”

“Yeah, and I ain’t ever forgiven you for it.”

“And, I’m not letting anyone other than a longtime friend to SVU marry two of its finest,” Judge Donnelly insisted, coming over next to greet them both.

“Well under these circumstances, who am I to say no?” John said. “Though you have to give me credit, Fin. I did sniff out a real conspiracy—one that _you_ were behind.”

“Yeah, you did. So can we get married now?”

“Yes. Yes we can, Fin.” And looking around at all those gathered to witness the occasion, John couldn’t think of a better, more perfect way to do just that.

 


End file.
